So I’ve been wonderin why “Telephone” kept stickin in my head and it finally dawned on me that it meshed up nice with Smells Like Teen Spirit. So, how do you get a song out of your head? Mash it with another song and get them both stuck in your head of course… Be warned, It’s a little rough at some spots but overall it came out okay. Couldn’t get this wordpress player to go bigger so feel free to click fullscreen as well on the vid…
If ya like here’s a link to the audio file as well…
A First look review of the new Lady Gaga video for “Telephone”
Open Scene: Barbed Wire along the outer rim of a prison…
In walks Lady Gaga in escorted by female wrestler-lookin guards…
Okay, so here we go on another crazy-hyped Lady Gaga video. For what its worth, I dig these videos because they remind me of MTV heyday (i.e. -- the 80′s when music videos were actually on instead of 77 reality shows featuring the crazy antics of goofballs and maniacs…). Her vids are interesting because they make no sense whatsoever…Good stuff…But I digress.
She’s thrown in her cell and of course stripped of her clothes (that’s what happens in female prisons, right?) Cut to the next day(?) and she’s escorted out to the “Yard”. She’s wearing the stereotypical sunglasses made of burning cigarettes and wrapped in ‘stylish’ chains (that’s what happens in female prisons, right?) and of course her presence causes quite a stir…
One girl on girl kiss later and an announcement comes over the PA that Gaga has a phone call… (The song is called telephone, so that makes sense…). Now she’s suddenly back inside and dressed differently watching some fights among inmates. Another PA announcement. This time its Beyonce calling her (so I guess its more important so she answers…). Note the Diet Coke can hair curlers… Way to think on your feet in prison!
Unfortunately she can’t hear Beyonce because she’s kinda busy (being in Prison and all…). But she does have time to dance in studded bikinis with some of her prison pals, so that’s good.
Back in her cell, she’s now apparently run out of clothes (maybe the prison laundry system is down?) so again, she’s crafted a lovely crime scene tape outfit. Covers the important parts but allows her to continue this happy go-lucky prison dance that’s going on (only now in her cell…)
Good news! Some “idiot” has bailed her out! Time to throw on a giant hat and march on out of this crazy dance prison…
It’s Beyonce who’s bailed her out. And even better, she brought some sort of snack cake! Very thoughtful as I’m sure the prison food wasn’t very tasty. Beyonce isn’t too happy tho’, pointing out that she’s been a “very very bad girl Gaga…” They speed off and have a wonderful conversation about cows and mirrors and trust and something…
Beyonce begins singing and Lady Gaga takes some fantastic Polaroids. Its important to document this crazy road trip I suppose…
Cut to a diner where Beyonce is meeting up with an old flame(?). He must not be her favorite bestest buddy because she drops some poison in his coffee. Bummer for him…
Gaga meanwhile is on a TV show(?) called “Let’s Make a Sandwich”. She’s dressed in appropriate ‘chef’ attire complete with shear body suit, white apron and dual sided telephone hat… Lots of “helper-dudes” with heavy eyeshadow are also on this show to help by singing into breads and shoving wisks down their throats…Nothing we’ve not seen a hundred times on the Food Network… During this Beyonce is now in a hotel room while still being at the Diner…
Sandwich complete, we now get the exciting recipe for some sort of poison. She doesn’t appear to follow the directions very closely, but its a music video so we shouldn’t be expecting a ton of accuracy…
Now Gaga is at the diner serving the “poison” treats… Again she’s shown her remarkable craftiness by crafting a phone receiver out of her hair and covering her eye. Depth perception is not necessary in waitressing, everyone knows that…
Uh oh! Everyone in the diner has now eaten the poison and drops dead in their breakfasts… Oh dear, plot twist! That can only mean one thing!
Wonder Woman Dance Montage!!!
Wait… Not so fast… Time to speed off in the truck and then its night and time to dance in a leopard print outfit in front of the truck…
Er, whoops. My bad. Daytime and new outfits and more dancing near the back of the truck. It’s very confusing at this point. They should really get on the road and stop with all the costume changes because the news report flashed and showed the cops are on the lookout for these two crazy kids…
They’ve decided to do the right thing and head on out of town… Ah, happy endings. They vow “never to come back”…and they speed off into the sunset.
Unfortunately a helicopter is right on their tail… But they don’t seem too worried…
Great…”To be continued…” isn’t that always the worst.
